When holidays collide

This unique situation presents a singular opportunity for two traditional underdog holidays, both regularly overshadowed by Christmas, to team up and take on the champ. Think of it as Rocky times two verus Apollo Creed. Together, Thanksukkah/Hanusgiving* have more than enough seasonal goods to give Christmas a run for its over-commercialized money.

There are 12 collective days of holiday (if we count Thanksgiving as four), great food, presents for the kids, interesting backstories, spinning dreidels, shoes with adorable buckles, Hanukkah gelt, lots of pie, and a common, resonant message of religious freedom and tolerance.The only drawbacks are the six or more days of leftover turkey, the forced feedings associated with Thanksgiving, and Hanukkah gelt itself, which tastes only marginally better than the gold wrapping in which it comes.

A historical perspective

Interestingly enough, there have been at least five other relatively recent instances in which two usually widely time-disparate holidays have coincided:

Christmas and the Fourth of July. Of course many of you aren't old enough to remember 1974, when Christmas and the Fourth of July fell together on the same date for the first time in 56 years. It was a banner year for the city of Philadelphia as pilgrims — many of them wearing small replicas of the Liberty Bell around their necks — converged on the Quaker City and led lightstick processions to Independence Hall. The Pope held a special Christmas Eve mass that year, in which he mentioned all four Philadelphia sports teams by name.

It seemed in 1974 that there were carolers on every street corner favoring seasonal fireworks shoppers with old favorites like "Rudolph, the Red-, White-, and Blue-Nosed Reindeer." It was also the year that Santa Claus and Uncle Sam — long suspected to be one and the same — were finally outed when Uncle Sam forgot to tightly fasten his 490- pound fat suit before diving down the chimney of one Ralph Merkle of Jersey City.

Mardi Gras and Labor Day. When these two holidays fell as one in 1952, Labor Day, with its ever-depressing augury of the end of summer, knocked Mardi Gras for a loop from which it almost never recovered. Jazz bands remained unbooked, drunk and disorderly arrests were down sharply nationwide, and many people reluctantly went out to buy notebooks for the new school year. In New Orleans, the bars were closed.

Memorial Day and New Year's Day. These two holidays have already coincided three times in this century alone, but since both holidays fell the day after New Year's Eve, no one ever noticed.

Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day. The unusual confluence of these two holidays in February 1911 proved a bitter pill for their respective iconic symbols, Puxatawney Phil and Cupid, rumored to hate each other almost as much as Adam Sandler hates being funny.Tirelessly working the small town of Puxatawney for 24 hours in 11 degree weather in an effort to show up his laconic rival, Cupid had to be treated for severe hypothermia and partial loss of a wing after producing only a handful of engagements and one lukewarm seduction, while Phil, for his part, saw his shadow and promptly received over 7,000 proposals of marriage.

Simchat Torah and Shavuos. Simchat Torah normally takes place in the early fall and Shavuos takes place in late spring. Unfortunately, no Jewish person other than the most extreme among the Orthodox knows enough about them to write a halfway decent joke here.

The Mayans could have warned us

So will Thanksukkah/Hanusgiving come out swinging this year and finally deck the holiday that "decks the halls?" I dunno.

We'll have to see what Santa has up his sleeve.

Or what Uncle Sam has in his fat suit.

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*a.k.a. Thanksgivukkah