A love letter to the City of Philadelphia

Life began getting very difficult on my education and career path. It was time for some personal growth. To fill the void, I relentlessly researched your grad-school programs. But here’s the truth: The best program for me was down South. It had a specialization in my field of study that nobody else — not even you — could offer.

And I simply couldn’t compromise my future, even for your sake. Without the steps I knew I needed to take, life got unbearably hard as I approached my 30s, and that’s not what I wanted for myself. That’s why I had to leave.

In my new home, my studies consumed me. I barely had enough time to sleep. But I noticed right away that my new address was no match for you. I graduated, and I even tried my luck in another place when a career opportunity I couldn’t pass up arose. I was disillusioned enough to think I could be swayed to love another city.

As three years passed, I realized how special you really are. I loved you, but I took you for granted. There’s nothing like your dirty, narrow streets filled with history, character, and charm. I could wander them for hours. There’s no match for your sense of community pride. It’s no wonder that your 1.5 million residents fervently represent you in a way that nobody but folks who know you seem to understand. There’s no frills, no motives hidden by a smile. You have legitimate problems, but people like me want to acknowledge them and work through it with you — and I’ve even learned to love some of them. That’s how much you matter.

I really needed this time for me, but I feel sad about missing out on so many things. For better or worse, I missed so many milestones. New restaurants putting Philly on the map for everything from sushi to barbecue, a Super Bowl win, another Comcast tower, the demise of Capogiro and Little Pete’s, the advent of Gritty, axe-throwing hipsters, and rising rents.

When I visited you over Thanksgiving last year, you were just as amazing as you’ve always been. You filled me up with love and renewed my creativity like only you can. I feel more like my authentic self when I’m with you. I did what I had to and I don’t regret it, but I hope I can find a way to pay you back for all the love you’ve given me over the years and everything you continue to give me from far away.

But most of all, I hope that you’ll take me back. It’s risky even considering it because I know we’ve both changed so much. What if it doesn’t work anymore? What if all the excitement of our younger days has worn off? But if I don’t try to get back to you, life will be full of regrets.

I’m not ready now, but the day will come. Please wait for me.

With love,

Lane Blackmer