Top ten reasons you should watch the Oscars Sunday night

10. David Letterman will not be hosting. In 1995, David Letterman hosted his one and only Oscars. Calling it a disaster is like calling the Titanic a shipwreck. Letterman had plenty of competition for Worst Host Ever — including some people named below — but took the title when he opened the 1995 show by making fun of actors’ names (Oprah, Uma — Uma, Oprah). It wasn’t funny, and he was off and running to Oscar immortality.

9. It is a live TV show. Way back in its infancy, all TV was live. Today, other than sporting events, nothing is live — except for the Oscars and some other awards shows. And that is why —

8. Stuff happens. In 1974, a man streaked naked across the stage, allowing host David Niven to ad-lib one of the most quoted lines in Oscar history: “Probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings.”

7. It’s not the Grammys. For reasons known only to the Grammys, only 12 of the 82 (some say 83) awards were announced during the three-hour live telecast last week. It is difficult to take seriously an awards show that doesn’t think enough of the vast majority of its awards to announce the winners during the show. The Oscars will announce the nominees and winners in every category, even Best Sound Mixing, which should not be confused with Best Sound Editing, which has nothing to do with Best Film Editing.

6. Lady Gaga will perform a special tribute (to whom or for what has not been announced). Not crazy about her? Jennifer Hudson, Anna Kendrick, Tim McGraw, and Rita Ora will be performing, too. Don’t care? The presenters will include Gwyneth Paltrow, Liam Neeson, Nicole Kidman, Shirley MacLaine, John Travolta (who will attempt to erase the “Adele Dazeem” incident — see #8 above — from our collective memories), Scarlett Johansson, David Oyelowo, Meryl Streep, Oprah! Aw, come on, you must like somebody!

5. Neil Patrick Harris will host the Oscars for the first time. Harris has hosted both the Tonys and the Emmys multiple times. Those are minor-league warm-ups for the big one, the Oscars. Recently, the Oscars’ producers have switched hosts almost yearly to increase flagging viewership. In 2009, the Oscars changed formats and hired Hugh Jackman to host. It worked, and viewership was up 13 percent. In 2010, the Academy increased the number of best picture nominees from 5 to 10 and hired Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin as cohosts. Another 13 percent increase. In 2011, the Academy went with another pair of hosts. Sadly, the Anne Hathaway/James Franco pairing was excruciating, the show was dull, and the ratings dropped 10 percent. In 2012, the Academy went back to Billy Crystal, who has been touted as one of the best hosts ever. It did not help. The show was tepid at best, but viewership did increase by 4 percent. In 2012, the Academy laid an egg — it hired Seth MacFarlane, who was universally acclaimed as the worst host since Letterman, but viewership increased by 3 percent. Last year, Ellen DeGeneres hosted the show for the second time, being far less dynamic than she usually is, but viewership increased by 6 percent. According to the Academy, it was the largest viewership of the show since 2000, when Billy Crystal was in his prime. All of this is to say, people will probably watch no matter who hosts the show — unless it’s Anne Hathaway and James Franco.

4. You have as good a chance as anyone of guessing the winners of Oscar categories like Best Makeup and Hairstyling and Best Short Film – Live Action. You could win the Oscar pool! It’s not just the money, it’s a year’s worth of people asking you for — and actually listening to — your opinions about movies when, in fact, you haven’t seen a movie in months but have read the online reviews because you want people to keep on thinking that you are the Roger Ebert of your circle.

3. On Monday, people will be talking about it. You don’t want to be one of those people everyone hates because they go around saying things like “I don’t watch the Super Bowl/the Oscars/American Idol/Dancing with the Stars (or any show with high ratings — take your pick)” with a superior look. Yeah, yeah, it’s all trash, and we should all be watching Downton Abbey.

2. It’s not Downton Abbey.

1. Every decade or so, something wonderful actually happens during the show. In 1969, Ruth Gordon, 72 years old, won her first Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in Rosemary’s Baby and told the audience, “I can’t tell you how encouraging a thing like this is.” In 1979, Cary Grant, who looked every bit as suave as he did more than 15 years before when he quit movie acting, presented Laurence Olivier, who sounded every bit as good as he did more than 30 years before when he won Best Actor for Hamlet, with a lifetime achievement Oscar. In 1988, Cher gave a moving speech after winning a Best Actress award for Moonstruck — in all the years I had been watching her on TV and in movies, it was the only time she wasn’t acting. In 1999, when Roberto Benigni won a Best Actor Oscar, he was so thrilled that he climbed over seats on his way to the podium. In 2012, when Meryl Streep won her third Oscar, she proved, again, that she was the best actress in the room by giving the most sincerely grateful acceptance speech I ever saw. Can she really be that good? Yep.

Above right: Neil Patrick Harris. (Photo by Rach, via Creative Commons/Flickr)