Philadelphia's Erotic Literary Salon

From the words of welcome, we know that this is not your ordinary literary salon. But it is about writers reading words, words we don’t usually use. “Steamy words,” Susana Mayer, Ph.D, the founder and host of the Erotic Literary Salon, calls them. On the surface, this is like any other literary event: nervous writers wanting to share their work with others, regulars who attend to listen, and newcomers who are wondering what they’ve gotten themselves into.

“It’s a safe environment,” says R, who has been chronicling a relationship through memoir writing. She’s not reading tonight, but she often does. “It’s very freeing. There is no censorship,” says J, who had done a lot of open mike poetry reading before she learned about the salon from a friend over a year ago, and she was hooked.

For the writers, it’s a chance to expand their writing. “I don’t hold back; I’ve taken the inner editor out,” says one writer. “This has pushed me to move deeper into the work,” says a gentleman who hopes to publish his work one day.

Nothing untoward

While everyone is open in his or her writing, people are less so about revealing their personal lives. Nothing untoward goes on, yet some feel that if their colleagues were to hear they participated, it could have a negative impact on their careers. They thus keep walls between their writing and their professions. Their bosses might “look askance,” one says.

Some, like Cris Anson, are published erotic authors whose work can be found on Amazon. Others write strictly for themselves. Some are teachers, while some are in the corporate world.

In December, the Reverend Dr. Beverly Dale (Rev Bev), clergy in residence at United Christian Church of Levittown, gave a talk on misconceptions about sex in the Bible and read from a personal memoir. In January, the featured speaker talked about the human rights impact of Alaska’s prostitution and sex trafficking policy.

The readings are a mixture of humor, fantasy, and drama. One reader has a quirky view on why women have breasts, another fanatisizes about a BDSM relationship, still another tells of the personal trauma of rape. The rule of silence works. Everything is heard with respect. Some of it is uncomfortable — we’re not used to hearing people say those things out loud, except perhaps in anger. We’re not used to that level of honesty. At times we laugh and hope the reader meant to be funny. At times we ache with the pain the reader went through, and at times we identify with feelings and thoughts we often push aside.

Tongue-tied about the act

Why are words so scary to us? We use words like “fuck” as a curse, but when it comes to describing the act, we become tongue-tied. Curse words are censored in the media. Mainstream publications avoid them. Yes, they’ve often become shorthand for lazy writing, but they can also be powerful. It’s not always the words themselves that create a reaction; it’s the sometimes graphic detail.

So what is this erotic literary salon? On the one hand, it's so mainstream that it advertises in MeetUp, the organization that lets people create groups on almost any topic. On the other, it has a forbidden feel to it. You arrive at a nondescript door, go through a popular bar and up the stairs into your own private world. The main thing about this world, says everyone who spoke about it, is that it is a safe place.

Mayer, who has a master’s in public health and a doctorate in human sexuality, started the salon in 2008. “The event has now evolved to include the witnessing, accepting, and support of people as they share not only their fantasies but also lusty confessions, sex memoirs, journals, diaries, correspondence and rants, using a variety of writing styles, some of which I didn’t even realize existed,” Mayer said in her talk at the Sexuality, Intimacy and Aging Conference, held at Widener University last September.

There are a few conditions, Mayer points out. “Confidentiality is mandatory,” she says. Each work read requires a backstory to give it a context. And each person may read for no longer than five minutes.

No censorship

“I do not censor. Ever,” she says, which doesn’t mean that some of the writing doesn’t make her squirm. And if it seems necessary, she will sometimes step in and talk about it.

As I listen to the readings, I admit my own conflict or confusion. Sexually explicit language is not the norm. Yes, we’re inured to George Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” But graphic depictions of sex, which almost everyone does even if no one talks about it, are rare.

In light of recent discussions about sexual assault, I find myself wondering what the difference is. Where does consensual sex enter the discussion? Just as medicine has pathologized normal life transitions like childbirth and menopause, so the emphasis on sex as assault, which is a real problem, tends to demonize all sex that isn’t thought of as normal.

The release of Fifty Shades of Grey also raises questions about pornography and what is degrading to women.

For Mayer, the erotic is whatever turns you on, or more specifically, “text or images designed to arouse.” The distinction between that and pornography may have to do with personal taste. “If I like it, it’s erotica; if you like it, it’s pornography,” has been the usual distinction, she says.

A feminist herself, she recognizes that some women see pornography as degrading to women, while others are creating a feminist pornography of their own. At the salon, there is space for everyone to explore his or her own definitions of the erotic and to tell his or her stories in safety and silence.