Colin Quinn’s ‘Unconstitutional’ at Suzanne Roberts

In his one-man show, Quinn likens the Constitutional Convention to a bunch of guys in a bar, buying drinks for each other, swapping stories, and eventually making deals — telling each other, in effect: This round’s on me; you can get the next one.

What the Founding Fathers decided wasn’t always salubrious, but at least they got things done. Quinn offers the slavery issue as an example. The New England delegates said slavery must be outlawed; the Southern states insisted that their products were essential to the nation’s economy, so an accommodation was made. The Northerners, like Gilda Radner’s Emily Litella, gave up and said, “Never mind.” Nowadays, Quinn says, Americans don’t trust anyone willing to compromise.

In his 70-minute monologue, Quinn paced the stage and delivered his lines in rapid-fire bursts. His raspy New York voice was perfect for reducing academic issues down to man-on-the-street level. The set consists of a single desk containing a quill pen and a piece of parchment, while projections illuminate key paragraphs of the U.S. Constitution.

Extending his barroom metaphor, Quinn claims that American history is much like a blurry night spent prowling saloons. Appropriately, his delivery sounds much like what you’d hear from a boozer on a rant.

He jokes about how everyone’s an expert on the Constitution, although hardly anyone has read it. “It’s four pages long,” he explains. “No one has that kind of time.”

Quinn questions many popular assumptions — for instance, why is Bruce Springsteen considered a friend of working people while he presents four-and-a-half-hour shows on Tuesday nights?

America needs therapy in dealing with foreign relations, Quinn says, because we suffer from separation anxiety in regard to England, intimacy issues with Mexico, codependency with the Middle East, sibling rivalry with Russia...and penis envy with Africa.

Unconstitutional is a fine follow-up to Quinn’s previous one-man comedy, Long Story Short. This one is even more pertinent to today’s headlines.