'We Will Rock You' at the Kimmel Center

But that’s not enough for some productions. The creators want to make the theatergoing experience a totally immersive one. Sometimes they do this through little gestures, like letting us order drinks at the onstage pub before the show and during intermission as they did at Once at the Academy of Music this season or by inviting us to picnic at Independence Mall while watching a simulcast of an opera being performed at the Kimmel Center.

And sometimes they go too far.

We Will Rock You, featuring music by Queen and a very campy script, used about every trick in the book to bombard the audience with sound and light, rather like being at a rock concert with music that blasts at you and through you. I wanted to like it, I really did. I wanted the fun of hearing familiar songs and perhaps singing along once or twice, but I was in agony most of the time. Sitting under massive speakers that resonated so loudly I could feel the energy through my feet, bombarded by flashing lights that not only strobed but glared directly at me, I couldn’t wait to escape to the back of the audience, where, armed with earplugs and a hat with a brim, I survived the second act.

I know that sports fans are crazy and will put up with all sorts of conditions to support their team. Just think of the recent games played in subfreezing weather — the Philadelphia Eagles playing the New Orleans Saints at Lincoln Financial Field when the temperature was a balmy 21 degrees, or the Green Bay Packers playing the San Francisco 49ers at Lambeau Field the next day when the temperature started at around 5 degrees. But I am not a sports fan — I had to look up that information to get the teams right — and I prefer to watch my entertainment from a more comfortable vantage point.

Be prepared

Lately it’s been hard to go to the theater without accepting at least some risk. I may not have to bundle up in five layers of long johns, but I often have to take enough supplies for a camping trip to survive a theatrical experience. So I thought I’d share with you just some of the items you might consider bringing with you next time you head out for an evening at the theater — a sort of theatrical to-go bag, like the ones they tell us to keep handy in case of emergency.

1. Earplugs

It might seem counterintuitive to bring earplugs to a concert or a musical performance, but considering that the person most likely to be setting the levels is someone whose hearing has been altered by years of listening either to his own personal sound system or the sound at an arena, I don’t trust that person to take into account my sensitive eardrums. And while once performers trained their voices to carry to the back of the theater, mic-ing singers is now the norm. Thus performers no longer have to worry about reaching the entire audience, but the sound person does have to worry about balancing the music and the voice, providing enough sound for us to hear while not so much as to drive us out of the theater.

The Academy of Music is tricky. It’s a vast, cavernous space that’s hard to fill. I spoke to a young man who sat in the back up a few levels, and he said that he had trouble hearing the dialogue. So while I was feeling overwhelmed, he was straining to hear. The singers, even with mics, seemed to scream out their lyrics. With a full band behind them on stage, they probably were competing to be heard. The result was often harsh, although some of the singing was powerful.

2. Sunglasses

You know those dark shades your eye doctor gives you to wear — perhaps on top of your regular sunglasses — after you’ve had your eyes dilated? It sometimes pays to carry them with you to the theater. While you might be able to listen to the entire show at a lower volume, you probably don’t want to see it through a filter, and strobe lights tend to come at you suddenly and then disappear. Nevertheless, I recommend them for those moments when a song or dance number is filled with flashing lights and special effects.

There were two or three numbers during We Will Rock You that I never got to see because I had to close my eyes and cover them with my hands. I’m sure they were wonderful, and I might have enjoyed them from another vantage point.

3. Layers of clothing

Theaters are usually cold. While the actors sweat under the hot lights on stage, the air in the audience is often frigid. That means, summer or winter, you will want at least a shawl to wrap around your shoulders and perhaps a little hat that doesn’t block the view for the person behind you.

4. Water and cough drops

Many shows use mist to conceal the stage or hint at a smoky room. Often characters actually do smoke on stage. The mist or smoke spills out into the audience, and the coughing starts. Having a bottle of water or an unwrapped cough drop handy is useful for you and courteous to those around you.

And once you’ve taken care of all that, you can sit back and enjoy the show.

On with the show

In this case, the show itself was filled with energy and sound. The script, about a dystopian future in which all music has been co-opted by the state, might have had a lot of fun playing with different styles of music. But since it was only Queen’s music, the contrast between the state’s music and the music of the rebels who remembered the old rock and roll was virtually undetectable. As shows try to find a way to incorporate existing music into contrived story lines, there needs to be a stronger emphasis on telling a good story, not just playing familiar tunes.

And please, just turn down the volume a little for those of us who still have our hearing left.